


Going Through

by svevijah



Series: Future Starts Slow. [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Aunt Natasha Romanov, Aunt-Niece Relationship, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Canon Compliant, Gen, Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 07:34:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18633670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/svevijah/pseuds/svevijah
Summary: “Hey Lils, if you’re watching this it means your sight has become better than your father’s.” she began, a little laugh followed her statement, then her smile fell abruptly. “If that’s not the case… I’m sorry baby, I would have never wanted you go through this now.”





	Going Through

**Author's Note:**

> i watched endgame on the 24th and i cried four days no-stop at every thing to be honest. in aou lila and nat seemed very close, so i guess that she didn't take well the news. i tried to represent what could have happened, hope you like it <3

The day Clint Barton returned home, he couldn’t bear the thought to tell his children and wife that Natasha was gone – everybody was brought back to life but not her. Not her.

As Lila rushed to greet him, the biggest smile on her face and her voice ever so joyful, Clint’s sight went foggy, his mind replying over and over the way Natasha’s voice sounded so young while pleading him to let her go. The moment when Lila’s arms reach for his neck, Clint mind stopped spinning and focused only on the way his kids were really there, all thanks to his best friend’s sacrifice.

The last time he set foot in his house, he was wearing a suit designed to time travel, was eager to hear his daughter’s voice and to see his family after the way he abruptly lost them. Entering the hall surrounded by people who loved him, were glad he was there, Clint felt like nothing had changed.

“When is auntie Nat coming?” Nathaniel chimed in, the crocked smile of a clueless five-year-old on his face.

Clint cleared his throat, his happy expressions quickly vanishing to leave place to all that sorrow he was keeping inside to be displayed. Picking up Nathaniel, Clint sat on the couch, putting his son on his lap. Moving his free arm in circled, he made his kids sit around him. As he motioned for Laura to join them, she shook her head no, panic in her eyes for what he was about to say.

“Guys, auntie Nat did a very brave thing.” He began explaining, although words kept dying in his throat. “And thanks to her we managed to bring you and the other people back.”

As Clint expected, Cooper took the news in the most temperate way, his face looking as stoic as ever, as if he had to prove he was strong enough to put aside his feelings and care about the others. Clint always thought that Cooper reminded him of when he was his own age – sixteen and wanting to be everybody’s rock, silently doing things and expecting nothing in return if not to hear somebody was proud of him.

Sighing deeply, Cooper patted Lila’s shoulder slightly, then got up and picked Nathaniel from Clint’s lap. As he walked past Laura, he turned to look back at his parents. “You clearly need to talk about stuff. I’m taking Nate out to practice baseball.” He declared solemnly. “Lils, you coming too?”

Lila Barton, fourteen-year-old full of questions and sudden anger bursts, looked her brother straight in the eyes, shaking her head no. As he left the room, Lila got up and went upstairs.

____________________

Lila’s room was full of stuff that used to belong to Natasha, or that were gifted by her. During the last renovation of her bedroom, Clint put a metal layer on a wall, covering it with the biggest print of a world map he could find. After that, Natasha picked the habit to bring her a magnet from every place she’d go, so that her niece could put it on the map.

Next to her desk there was a big corkboard full of pictures and tickets pinned with different coloured jots. Among all the pictures, one seemed to outstand more than the others: Lila and Natasha were sitting in one of the sofas in the old Avengers Tower, Lila was holding her late birthday gift – a lilac carillon with a ballerina inside that Lila remembered spin countless of times while the Swan Lake song played underneath.

Brushing away a tear from her cheek, Lila reached for the carillon on the night stand, full of dust for not being used in years. As she opened it and song began playing, Lila finally allowed herself to cry.

When the carillon started lagging – the ballerina would spin in semi circles and some parts of the songs would completely be jumped, Lila took a deep sigh, shook the box upside down a couple of times and hoped for the best. Eventually, her eye caught a slight fall in the cartoon placed around the ballerina to cover the mechanics that would make her move. Slowly removing it, Lila found an SD card.

Frowning in confusion, Lila picked her laptop and put the SD in the slot. As the driver opened, a plethora of files – notes, emails, pictures, recordings of songs – all named under ‘For Lila’ and the date the files were created. In a separated folder, there was a video that had as thumbnail Natasha in her bedroom at farmhouse.

The bedroom looked older and dusted than it actually was when everything was _normal_. Putting on her headphones, Lila pressed start. Natasha, with her hair half red and half blonde, fumbled a little with something and let out a curse under her breath, then looked right in the camera and smiled.

“Hey Lils, if you’re watching this it means your sight has become better than your father’s.” she began, a little laugh followed her statement, then her smile fell abruptly. “If that’s not the case… I’m sorry baby, I would have never wanted you go through this now.”

Lila’s eyes widened in surprise, her hand quickly reaching for her mouth in order to muffle small sobs.

“I want you to know that I’m so proud of you Lila, you’re the kindest and brightest kid I know. I still remember the day you were born – it was such a ride! Most terrible forty hours labour, I’m quite sure your mom would have lost her mind if she’d have to wait any longer.”

Natasha paused, her gaze falling on the ground and then in the direction of Clint’s voice. She carried on her video nonetheless.

“You know, I missed Cooper’s birth, but missing that was nothing when I got the chance to see him grow up the way he did. Lila, he can be very stubborn – just like your dad and mom combined – but everything he does or says it’s on your and Nate’s best interest. Don’t be too harsh on him when he seems to have the emotional range of an old wrinkled man. And Nate… please always remind him to stay that gentle soul he is, and don’t let anything harden him. Be good with mom and dad, they love you to the moon and back. And so do I.”

Another pause, and this time Natasha kept more attention to Clint’s words, yelled she would go downstairs in a moment and turned her attention again on the camera.

“I want you to know that everything I own – or most of it – is yours. Also, would you mind keeping an eye on Liho? He’s been throwing a lot of tantrums lately… even for a cat. I love you baby, take care.”

The video finished with Natasha throwing a kiss towards the camera in the very same manner as she would do when she used to take Lila to school when she was younger. Taking a couple of deep breaths do recollect, she eventually opened a note page and started typing.

____________________

“Are you sure you want to do this, honey?” Clint asked her in a whisper as Lila took a sheet from the pocket of her coat. She nodded yes and gently brushed his hand from her shoulder.

“Let me go, dad.” She said softly, as she noticed her father’s grip now was loose on her arm. Clint’s eyes filled with tears, Natasha’s voice echoing in the back of his head all over again. “I have to do this. For her.”

As she moved closer to the empty basket, Lila cleared her throat, looked at the people she grew to call family – people that her aunt considered family as well, and gave them a weak smile.

“For many people, Natasha Romanoff was known as the deadly Black Widow. She was thought to be a woman with no feelings, no care about anybody if not herself. To me, she was none of these things. To me, Natasha Romanoff was my aunt, my favourite person in the whole world.”

Looking up again to crowd, Lila inhaled sharply, trying not to cry.

“She’d take me to school every time she didn’t have a mission, and taught me martial arts, and ballet, and even though she insisted most of her life in trying to clean her name from what she did in the past, and never believed to worthy, or deserving to live, she taught me to know my value, to be kind and true to my heart. She gave up her life so that we could carry on with ours. Natasha Romanoff was the bravest person I’ve ever known, and I’m sorry the world had been so cruel to her. I hope she knows how grateful we are for the second chance she gave us.”

Stepping away from the coffin, flashes started lighting towards Lila, and Clint promptly ran to her to shield her – the downside of preparing a hero’s funeral, everybody they saved wants to pay respect, and the thing quickly turns into a mediatic show.

“Dad?”

“Yes honey?”

“Do you think aunt Nat knew she deserved good things?”

Clint sniffed lightly, gaze darting around to check nobody would jump on his daughter to take pictures of _‘the face of innocence that exonerates skilled assassin with the biggest body count after the Winter Soldier’_.

“I don’t know kid, but I really hope she did.”


End file.
